Why I Can Win

Since the country is split 50/50, half the people think it’s great that a man can have an intern in a broom closet at work.  I agree, two or three would be okay, this gets me all the Gore supporters from 2000.

I’m for the women’s right to choose what she does with her body.  There is the women’s vote.  (See women’s role in the organization).

I’m for the all female army.  There is the feminist vote.  (See women’s role in the organization)

I can win because the media can’t wait to prop me up and see me salute the other senators when I get to Washington.

I can win because the W-O-MEN (http://www.w-o-men.com) supports me.  There is the male vote.

I can win because I will deal with the one and only issue, all day, everyday.

I can win because Elvis is in the building.

I can win because I’m in the arena.

I’m for providing healthcare to the needy (see prostitution).  This will bring in a horde of women votes and men alike, all want better health.

Because our poll numbers are high.

Because when you vote for me, your vote goes to someone who is still like you, not someone who is like those in Washington D.C.  I don’t have any plans of staying long enough to become like them.

It looks like I may have 120% of the vote.  That could probably be considered a mandate.

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